Anne of Green Gables
by VampireSelene
Summary: Anne Shirley's life in Avonlea with a humorous twist. Her adventures with Diana Barry, Gilbert Blythe, Jane Andrews, and even Josie Pye.
1. Anne Shirley's Shock

Chapter I  
  
Sweet Summer Days  
  
It was a mellow day in summer, being not too hot, not too cold, yet perfect. Fruit wandered from branch to branch of apples trees, making life as colorful as possible. The grass was glistening with dewdrops like little jems, and the air scented sweet and warm, blending in perfectly with the atmosphere. Anne Shirley walked down in the bliss of sunset sunshine. "What a lovely day", she said to herself. "Hawhawhaw!" Laughter echoed down the kitchen at Green Gables, and Anne found herself being knocked over by Diana Barry and Jane Andrews who were chasing each other around. "Don't soak up all the sunshine, fartbag!" Jane yelled to Anne. Anne sighed as she got up. Jane and Diana had been spending a lot of time together lately. A little too much time. They always invited themselves over to Green Gables and always made playdates at Green Gables, never at their own homes. They always did ridiculous things, like chased each other around, played Give Davy a Wedgie, played hide and seek in the most odd spots, such as toilets and other people's trousers, and pulled on Marilla's mustache as often as possible. Anne swept her new dress which had gotten a little dirty from being knocked over, and headed towards the backyard. Marilla had now changed minds and decided that the most serviceable dresses were the ones that were now in fashion. They were called "mid-riff", and no one quite knew, except maybe Mrs. Rachel Lynde why they were called that. All they knew were they looked like the outfits that young ladies wore at certain night concerts where young lads liked to go. In the backyard, she heard lots of "oooh's" and "aaahh's", and she saw what was causing all the interest. Diana and Jane were sitting on an old tire and broken chair, while Matthew Cuthbert and Mr. Barry, Diana's father, were getting it on. "Ooh, I'm telling mother", said Diana with relish. Mr. Barry didn't even hear her, although they were only a couple feet apart. Anne sat herself down next to Diana and Jane on another broken chair. "So much scope for the imagination here", she sighed blissfully.  
  
Chapter II  
  
Anne Shirley is surprised  
  
"I just love cranberry muffins, don't you?" asked Diana, opening a brown paper bag and pulling out two muffins. Diana, Anne, and Jane Andrews were eating lunch together on the grass near the road by Carmody. The smell of the sweet muffins wafted over to Anne, who had as much to eat as a hobo. "Diana, those muffins smell absolutely Satan!" exclaimed Jane. Anne noticed the muffins were too big for one person to eat both, and also noticed that Diana was reaching out with the muffin towards her. "Diana," she blushed, "you don't really need to...." Diana, who had just noticed that Anne was speaking promptly said, "Oh, you needn't. I was going to give it to Jane." And she reached her hand out past Anne and dropped the muffin onto Jane's plate. Jane giggled. "Thank you, dear Diana!" she wheedled. Anne's mouth dropped. But before she could point out she had nothing to eat and that Diana was her best friend, Gilbert Blythe came along on his white mare. Gilbert was Anne's secret beau, although neither of them even knew it. "Whoa horsie", he said to the horse. The horse gave no sign of hearing him. "Horsie, stop", he said, this time a little more firmly. The horse indicated not one movement of halting. "I said, SLOW DOWN HOE!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. The horse, not used to this kind of harsh tone, got frightened and started galloping. Gilbert was not expecting this sudden movement and was thrown off his horse. The girls all screamed, and Gilbert landed in Janes plate. The horse galloped away, and Gilbert, obviously embarrassed, tried to make conversation. "So," he started casually, still in Jane's dinner things, " whats up like the Yankees say?" The girls looked at one another, and shrugged. Gilbert's father was known to be a person who robbed other beings, and a new term for these kind of people had reached Avonlea. Muggers, they were called. If they had laughed scornfully in Gilbert's face, liked they had intended to do, Gilbert would have undoubtfully told his thief daddy, and he would have mugged the poor girls. "Whats going on, Gilbert Blythe?" asked Diana. "I just wanted to, uh, drop by" said Gilbert with a glint in his eye. The girls all looked at one another. "It was a joke, you ugly orphans" said Gilbert, annoyed at their stupidity. "Ohhhh!" expressions of understanding dawned on the three girls' faces. They had a nice time talking about things except for the fact that Jane couldn't have her muffin, which Anne was secretly happy about. "So whats with spending all your time with Jane?" asked Gilbert, questioning Diana. "I just like Jane, thats all", was Diana's casual answer. "But I thought you and Anne were bosom friends", objected Gilbert. "You always spent time together, and now its just you and Jane I always see." Anne, for the first time, noticed a queer look on Diana's face. "Diana", she interrupted, "what is wrong?" Diana knew she was trapped like a bug in the middle of a big, sticky spiderweb. "Well, Anne, I thought you'd know by know", she sighed heavily. "You know I've always liked Gilbert as a bosom budder. And since father has been getting it on with Matthew, I've been interested. But since you hogged Gilbert, I've turned my intentions to....." She looked at Jane with shining eyes. Jane batted her flaky eyelashes at Diana. This was all too much for poor Anne. "You know what?" she said breathlessly, "I think Marilla is waiting for me to dissect the poop of a stable horse. So I've got to go." She picked up her bag and flew down the road. "Anne, wait!" she heard Gilbert shout. She didn't even think of pausing and ran down the road even faster, the dust of the dry road flying up behind her. Soon, Gilbert had caught up to her. "Anne," he coughed. "Anne I know.....man you let a lot of dirt fly when you run. I swallowed a lot by accident," cough cough, "I know why you ran away so fast. Its because of Diana and Jane, isn't it?" Anne looked at him with eyes full of tears. "Yes, yes it is because of those two unimaginative baboons. I knew something was going on for awhile, and I don't know why I didn't see it coming. They've been going over to each others houses or rather, mine all the time, bringing wholesome fruit tarts to each other, gazing at each other with pretty eyes, oh its getting disgusting!" Anne started crying, or rather wailing like a donkey when she turned to Gilbert for comfort. Anne was happy to see his face was full of concern, until she saw he wasn't looking at her. He was playing with a loose thread on his trousers. "I hope mom doesn't see this, she hates it when I rip my new clothes," Gilbert said totally unaware of Anne's furious red face. "I HATE YOU ALL!" she screeched. With that she kicked Gilbert with all her might in the knee, leaving him hopped in pain on one leg, turned on her heel and ran all the way down the dusty road again. "When Mrs. Lynde said she had a temper, she meant _fiery_ temper," said Gilbert painfully. "And would you look at that, she let all that dust fly again....." And he was left coughing chokes until Josie Pye came and tried to molest him.  



	2. Simple Solutions and Awakening Alike

Chapter III  
  
Mrs. Lynde sends her regards  
  
About a fortnight after the incident at the picnic, Anne had never left her white, cozy room at Green Gables. The summer had passed, and fall was beginning to arrive at Avonlea. Through the pretty curtains Matthew had bought for her, she could see the trees starting to change colors, and the wild winds racing the colored leaves through the air. Normally, Anne would have gone out in the gorgeous summer sun, which was slowly fading into a winter sun to meet the fall, but now she was too depressed to even give a thought to it. Marilla, who had tried to comfort her enough to get her to come out, and finally given up and had resorted to bringing Anne's meals to her room. "That child," she mumbled angrily one day. "What am I to do without her? The twins are pulling my butt hair out and I have no time spared in work now that shes "too depressed" to do anything. I know, I'll go to Rachel for some advice. She'll know what to do." With that, she gathered up the the twins, Davy and Dora, locked them in the horses' poop barn with a plum cake for both of the poor children to eat, and strided out to Rachel Lynde's home. Once she got there, she was greeted rather lukewarmly with a handshake and a blueberry milkshake, a new fashionable drink that had come to Avonlea. "So, I hear about Jane Andrews and Diana Barry," said Mrs. Lynde, knowingly. Marilla blinked at her in almost surprise. "Nothing ever gets past your dumpling of a body, does it Rachel?" said Marilla dryly. Mrs. Lydne laughed in a rather uninsulted way. "Everyone knows that Anne must be mortified, Marilla. Common knowledge. I expect the docter said along with your eyesight, your intelligence is going to the dogs also?" Marilla chose to ignore this comment, and continued to speak about what troubled her. For nearly half an hour, Marilla spoke of Anne in almost rapt silence, except for the squelching sounds coming from Mrs. Lydne who was picking her nose. "Shes hasn't been eating, sleeping, or doing much of anything at all," finished Marilla dramatically. She waited for gracious feedback from Mrs. Lynde. "Sounds like you got a problem," said Mrs. Lydne thickly, with her finger still in her nose. "I'll tell you a secret, Marilla. Since I know you won't tell anyone. My second cousin in White Sands is rather attracted to men around his own age, and not in a friendship sort of way. Since I found that out, which was almost four years ago now, my blabbing mouth has never let that slip. I knew if anyone found out, that I was related to someone of such fashion, my family would go down in shame. But Avonlea is getting more and more full of these sort, and its getting less shameful to know one. No doubt on whether the Barrys and Andrews will be shamed a little at the least if they have shame. This world is becoming so unclean and so unearthly, that I sometimes wonder if God has done this to us because we have acted in a way that should be written down in Satan's book. But, nevertheless, I must send young Diana Barry and young Jane Andrews my regards, for if I go against them, I will be going against my own family. I cannot happily gossip on whose family has one, for my own family is soiled. But, I'll tell you what. We cannot let Anne die from these wretched people we will have to learn to love. Give her small things to do, such as needlework or cleaning. Things she can do in her room. When shes gotten past that point, which should be in a few days, she will get out of that wretched room herself, and go back to normal life. If it doesn't work, do what I did. I raised ten offspring all by myself, and its never failed to work once. In about a fortnight, if she still refuses to give up depression, then take her out to the barn and have a piglet chew on her ear." Mrs. Lydne actually took her finger out of her nose this time. "It works," she said with a rather twisted grin. Marilla went home pondering on whether she should do what Mrs. Lydne said, or if the overweight broad had lost her advice touch. I think it might work, thought Marilla. If it doesn't, I will not resort to letting a pig chew on Anne's ear. Heaven knows if her ears can get redder than they already are.  
  
Chapter IIII  
  
Anne's Awakening  
  
"Oh Marilla, I'm so glad to feel better and out of that depression. I feel like I could just hug the earth!" said a very happy Anne. "Thats good to hear, Anne," said Marilla wearily. She had to do all the work by herself while Anne was still depressed. "I could always use help with the twins, but right now they're nowhere to be seen. I don't think we should search for them just yet. Four hours tops?" she raised her eyebrows at Anne. "I'd think five hours tops, Marilla," said Anne winking. What they didn't know was Davy was busy trying to find things such as spare doorknobs and such to make toys out of, and Dora was busy searching for a dolly in the gable. "Marilla, I feel as if I've just been awakened from a long sleep. Depression is so tiring, is it not? It is so much more lovely to just think about fairies, and dryads, and beautiful lakes full of shining water where mermaids like to dance. Oh! Look at that!" Anne pointed outside the window to the large cherry tree that had grown to quite a large size since Anne had arrived at Green Gables four years earlier. It's blossoms were turning a delicious dark pink, and they were swaying in the wind as if the wing was playfully pushing them back and forth in it's fingers, taking some off the tree and blowing them around the tree, so that they looked like they dressed the tree in a candy pink shawl. "I must go pick some of those blossoms for my room!" cried Anne. With that, she flew towards the door, using as much weight as the blossoms flying around the air, and Marilla heard a loud bang! "That girl," she mumbled as she started picking herself off the leather sofa in the kitchen. "Must have crashed into the tree again. Such a day dreamer, tsk tsk, such a day dreamer. What an awakening."  



	3. Descending Autumn

Chapter V  
  
Vexes and Hexes  
  
Thanksgiving was near, and school for Anne was as hard as ever. Trying to have fun was hard work, thought Anne. While her pupils worked hard on their studies, Anne soaked her feet in a tub with a special soap she bought from Carmody. While her pupils ate plain dinners and dinnertime, she ate extravagant dinners ordered specially from the White Sands hotel. During exam time, she read funny stories on children who had no shoes. Still, when winter vacation came, she thought it was well deserved. On the last day of school, she walked home with Diana Barry. "Diana," she started as they walked down Lover's Lane, "I think I'm know okay with you and Jane. Before, I couldn't stand either of you like this, but since my long talks with Mrs. Lydne and Mrs. Allan, I think all of us should be part of this world, even if we are truly diverse. I think thats what makes the world an interesting place, because if everyone were the same, it would be really mundane." Diana shifted uneasily next to her. "I'm not sure you should get used to Jane and I though, Anne," Diana said timidly. "Shes been vexing me, and she calls it taunting. She starts arguing with me constantly for no reason, and after a lot of fighting, she tells me she was just angry and that a lot of girls act this way when they grow." Diana sighed unhappily. "Besides, I think I like someone, and its not a girl. I think Jane will be very unhappy when she finds out that I like someone and its someone of the other gender." Anne looked positively excited at first, and then contained herself. She couldn't show Diana she was happy that she would be spending time with her again, and not Jane. Her conversation about talking to Mrs. Lydne and Mrs. Allan would be showing Diana that her true feelings weren't what they thought they were. "There, there Diana," said Anne comfortingly. "I'm sure Jane didn't mean to vex you, but its still rather unladylike to be a hypocrite." Diana gave another sigh. "You're always so right Anne," said Diana unhappily. Just then, a ugly black dressed being appeared at the end of the road. "Eeew! How could anyone dress like that?" said Diana in disgust. She was always rather infatuated with fashion and clothing. Suddenly, the figure turned and started running towards them. They both screamed and clung on to each other. The figure stopped in front of them and took off it's hat. "JANE?!" they both shrieked. Jane was dressed in an old tattery, black dress, her hair was pulled back with an ugly black kerchief, and she was wearing raggedy black tights. In her hand, she held her black hat which was topped with a huge black crow feather. "Jane! Why are you dressed.....dressed...so bat-cave like?" gasped Anne. "Eeee youuuuu moooomaaaaa fuggggggg chaaa laaaaaaaaa.....LA!" Jane screeched. Both girls looked at her other in horror. "Shes...shes..hexing us, Anne!" sputtered Diana in terror. When Anne was younger, her imagination occasionally ran away with her. Once she imagined that a wood near Green Gables was really a haunted wood, and she could have sworn that she had seen a witch there once. She had fell down in dead faint of course, only to wake up romantically in a pile of rabbit droppings. She had told Diana, and they were scared of witches and the wood, which they christened the Haunted Wood ever since. Before Anne could think, Jane jumped right next to them and started pulling their shoes off. Anne and Diana, losing their minds completely, pulled away from her and ran down the road, past Rachel Lynde's house, and right into Green Gables. Anne nearly flattened Davy like a pancake while she ran up to her room. When they got to her room, they jumped ontop of her bed and trembled. "Diana! Shes a witch and I think she tried to hex us!" stuttered Anne. Suddenly, a small whimper came from underneath the tiny bump on her bed they were sitting on. They both shrieked, losing their minds completely, and ran downstairs and flew out the door to Diana's home. "They're chasing us, Diana! The spirits have seen the vex placed upon us and are now after us!" yelled Anne. When they got there, no one was home because the rest of the Barrys were at White Sands, and Anne, who was not about to leave, locked the doors while Diana locked the windows. "Oh Anne, please do not leave. I cannot let my bossom friend go to the spirits!" Diana said tearfully. Even in all her terror, Anne turned to Diana and gave her a strange look. "Diana, you know I like Gilbert, and I'm not exactly about to start liking girls." Diana shook her head. "No, I didn't mean it that way, Anne." Anne relaxed and gave her a smile. Then they heard thunder. Both girls screamed. "Theres no leaving, Diana, we can't leave the house," said Anne closing her eyes in horror. Indeed, there was no leaving the house. It poured for hours, and Anne ended up spending the day at Diana's home. "Anne, my parents are probably stuck at White Sands because it won't stop raining. Oh, but we must be brave. We have no food left for we ate everything, and we must return to Green Gables." Suddenly, they heard a bang on the door. "THE SPIRITS!!!!!!!" both girls screamed. They ran behind the couch. They heard the door's lock turning, and then the door fly open. Two very soggy figures walked in holding two small dripping figures. "Anne?" Marilla's voice called through the house. "MARILLA!" both girls ran from behind the couch and threw themselves onto Marilla. The smaller figure who Marilla had been holding fell to the floor with a thudd. "Girls, girls, Dora..." Marilla tried to remain stern, but had to laugh. The second figure picked up Dora, who was crying but was so wet, you couldn't tell which was tears and which one was rain. "Girls, girls! You should be ashamed! Two grownup girls, first almost flattening poor Dora, then being so frightened at such silly things!" said Mrs. Lydne's voice. She dropped both Davy and Dora on a couch, and turned towards the girls who had finally let go of Marilla. "We've been looking for you for so long! You were here?" asked Mrs. Lydne. Both girls nodded, too relieved to speak. "I see, I see. Good thing Marilla has a key to the Barry's home, or we would have never found you!" said Mrs. Lynde again, this time a little disapprovingly. "I saw the whole witch incident from my window. That Jane, she should be awfully ashamed. Diana, I hope you don't mind that I heard that you are not going to be different anymore. Thats good dear, thats good. Now, look at poor Dora, you girls gave her such a fright. Poor child was sick this morning, and the only warm room in the house was Anne's room. Marilla let her sleep in there, and took Davy to Carmody so he wouldn't bother her. But she was awoken anyway by the most unlikely people indeed. Girls, really shouldn't be afraid of nonsense make believe characters. Its unladylike." She paused for breath. "I guess we better start explaining, Diana," said Anne a little shamefully. For the rest of the night, they talked and partied in the Barry home with no food, until Dora's little face red with fever and Mr. and Mrs. Barry came home and screamed for them to get out rather politely when they refused to. As Anne waved her free hand to Diana in which she was not holding a sleeping Davy, she told herself, what a first day of winter vacation.  
  
Chapter VI  
  
Cracks in Friendship  
  
The first snow had fallen over Avonlea, transforming the island into a peaceful winter wonderland. The Haunted Wood was as silent as ever, close to resembling a snow queen's tomb. Lover's Lane was delightfully sparkling with snow, and Barry's pond, the Lake of Shining Waters, was frozen over and the young adults of Avonlea were having a splendid time skating on it. Anne was walking home with Diana from Carmody and were taking a shortcut by the Lake of Shining Waters to Green Gables, and was having trouble managing all her packages. "Diana," she said in a muffled voice from behind all her packages. "Do you think Marilla will like the foot scratcher I got her?" Diana, who was carrying her packages along with some of Anne's, for Anne was carrying too many for just her to hold, had a little trouble answering. "Anne, listen.....help! Aunt Josephine's present, its about to fall!" And indeed, the package ontop of all the piled packages in Diana's arms, slipped right off and fell over the railing and right into the Lake of Shining Waters! "Oh!" Anne and Diana both dropped their presents and ran over to see the fate of Aunt Josephine's present. Instead of seeing it sink it beneath the pond's icy waters, they saw it land on someone's head with an "ouch!" and then being skated over and tripping a person who was skating by. "Oh, oh! Anne, what do we do?" asked Diana, mortified. Anne, who had not even time to think, grabbed Diana's hand and flew down and around to the pond. It appeared it and the small package had caused a lot of commotion. Seven people had tripped and flipped over, and were now all painfully lying on top of each other. The package had hit someone on the head when it had fallen, and it left its mark ontop of his head to not let him forget too soon where it had fallen. And a couple of people were now complaining that their day was now ruined because of the tiny package. Anne ran forward and grabbed the package before anyone could see. "Lets go Diana....." she said in a low voice to her friend. Right after they stepped off the pond, they heard a loud crack! "Its breaking!" they heard someone shout. In a gust of wind and snow, everyone had run or skated off the pond, which now had several cracks rushing with water forming. Anne and Diana, rooted to the spot with fear, had now got their senses back. They yelled, and started running. They didn't stop until they got to Green Gables. "Anne," Diana panted. "Is the package okay?" Anne checked the box. It was dented in several spots, and the pretty paper wrapping on it was peeling off. "Diana, I wouldn't say it was nice in front of Mrs. Allan," she started breathlessly. "Its not nice to lie in front of a minister's wife, you know. You can't send this now, its too ruined and I bet the music box inside is even more ruined." Diana shook her head. "We can't go all the way back to Carmody now," she said tiredly. "Its snowing too hard, and I don't have enough allowance to afford it." Anne hesitated, thinking. After several seconds, she said in a defeated voice, "You're right. I spent all my allowance too. We're just going to have to send it to Aunt Josephine." Feeling very discouraged, both girls picked themselves up and went back to the Lake of Shining waters, and collected the rest of their gifts. When they got back, they sent out Mrs. Josephine Barry's present to Charlottetown and went home. Almost a fortnight later, after they had forgot all about the incident, a letter arrived for Diana and Anne, both who had bought the present together for Mrs. Barry. It was a very insulted, rude, and short letter claiming that she had thrown it away and it was awful of them to send such a gift, and that she wanted to give them both a slap in the face. She ended the letter saying that her friendship with them had ended, and she thought no more of them as family. Anne, who was feeling sick in the head after reading the letter, sent a letter asking why she had opened the gift before Christmas. That tended to make Mrs. Barry even more offended. She answered back telling them she wanted to see who would send such a shabby package, and an even more shabbier music box to her lovely home. Diana was over at Green Gables, and both girls were now feeling as lost as ever before Christmas. Anne was especially feeling blue now. "There, there Anne, cheer up," said Diana gently. "That moldy prune is just too spoiled and thinks that everyone in the world is as rich as her." Anne whose pillow was now as soggy as a wet noodle, blew her nose on the hem of Diana's dress. "Diana, I feel like I've just lost someone I really love," sobbed Anne. "Aunt Josephine is a kindred spirit, and I've never lost a kindred spirit before, and now I know just how horrible it is when you lose a kindred spirit." Diana had no reply to this sad comment, but just patted Anne's hand and looked out the frosty window. Diana's sad face seemed to melt away as a smile started to bloom on her lips. "Look, Anne, theres hope," she said smilingly. 


	4. Winter's Magic

Chapter VII  
  
Before Christmas Eve....  
  
"Anne!" Diana shook Anne. It was morning at Green Gables, and the morning light was shining through the curtains in Anne's room onto Anne's face. "Di...Diana?" Anne yawned. "What are you doing here so early?" Diana jumped right off Anne's bed and ran to her closet. "Theres so much to do before Christmas Eve, and I have a plan to get back Aunt Josephine's affection." Anne, who was not the least expecting this, leaped off her bed. "What are we going to do?" Diana's eyes shined. "Going to Carmody." Anne's eyes sparkled in comprehension. "Oh! We can buy her another gift with the money we made by babysitting Ginger the parrot for Mr. Harrison." Diana beamed at her idea, and got some clothes for Anne to change into. When they went downstairs, they told Marilla they were just going for a skate on the Lake of Shining Waters, because Marilla had no idea on the whole Mrs. Barry affair. The Lake of Shining Waters had froze once again, and people were just starting to get used to skating on it again after the Great Crack. "At least have some breakfast before you...." started Marilla. But when she turned around, the girls were already long gone. "Those girls," laughed Marilla.   
  
By the time the girls had crossed Lover's Lane, it was snowing so hard, it was hard to see. "Anne, I think we should run to Carmody," said Diana in a muffled voice from behind all her scarves and sweaters. "Its starting to snow harder." Anne had on so many layers of clothes, she couldn't speak, but when she nodded, Diana understood fine. They ran the rest of the way to Carmody, and ran inside the Blair's store. Once inside, Anne took off some of her layers so that she could once again talk. "Diana, what are we going to buy her?" The store was full of many things, but mostly expensive. "Lets just look around for something inexpensive and pretty, so we can get out of here before we get snowed in," Diana said hurriedly. They looked around the store for half and hour, until Anne finally claimed there was nothing and that they needed to find something before Christmas Eve rolled around and they were going to be stuck in Carmody if they didn't hurry up. Next they went to the Lawson's and they spent another hour until they finally found something. They were feeling discouraged and walking out of the store when Anne spotted it. "Diana! Look! Its the perfect thing for Aunt Josephine!" And indeed, it was. It was a huge barrel stuffed with brown sugar and it was on sale for such a low price, they found it hard to believe how anyone could refuse. It took both girls' efforts to roll the barrel to the clerk, but once they got of of the store, they relized their problem. "Diana! What are we going to do? If we try rolling this barrel all the way to Green Gables, we will freeze still trying," said Anne wringing her hands. Diana opened her mouth to suggest something, but she helplessly closed it when she couldn't think of anything. They started rolling the barrel slowly, hoping they wouldn't freeze, but it was starting to snow harder. When Anne finally had it, she stopped and sat down, resting her head on the barrel. "Diana, we will just have to face it. We will freeze and our spirits will wonder among the Haunted Wood forever," said Anne closing her eyes. After resting for several minutes, they heard the the wheels of a carriage coming towards them. It was Diana who heard it first, and she jumped up and exclaimed, "Anne! Our souls will not wonder freezed in eternity! Look! There comes a carriage!" Both girls starting jumping, and when the carriage reached them it stopped, and Gilbert Blythe hopped down. It appeared Josie Pye was with him and was trying to get his attention, but it didn't seem it was working. "What are you doing here with....." Gilbert turned the barrel over and took off the lid. "A barrel of brown sugar?" Anne and Diana looked at each other, and were now too frozen to talk. "Need....hot....chocolate....." Anne's teeth chattered. Thankfully, Gilbert got the message, and all four of them, including Josie, helped haul the barrel onto the carriage. On the way back to Green Gables, they laughed and talked, having a good time, and occasionally thrusting a handful of brown sugar into their mouths. By the time they reached Lover's Lane, they were drunk on brown sugar, and swaying a little as they got off the carriage. Gilbert was so drunk he threw the barrel off the carriage, and him and Josie rode away laughing so fast they almost ran over Anne and Diana. "He didn't even say bye," said Diana in a tipsey voice. When they got to Green Gables, they found no one home, except Davy and Dora. Davy was eating all the preserves, so Anne and Diana, still intoxicated, stuffed him into the middle of two couches. By the time they were finally themselves again, Anne decided they needed to send out the barrel. "Diana, we need to send this barrel out so it reaches Mrs. Barry before Christmas Eve. She will be even more offended if thats possible if she doesn't." So they rolled out the barrel again and sent it, and by the time they got back, Marilla was home, and she scolded them for squishing Davy inbetween couches, and told them to get cooking for the Christmas party that was going to be held at Green Gables. "Oh, Marilla! How exciting! Why didn't you tell me earlier?" asked Anne excitedly. "Because you would be too excited and neglect your chores," said Marilla, trying to shape up the squished Davy. "Whose coming?" asked Diana. "Well, the Allans, the Barrys, the Lydnes, the Sloanes, the Andrews, the Blythes, the Irvings, and almost everyone in Avonlea. So I should think you girls should start putting up decorations because its less than a fortnight away. And girls, be careful you don't drop another tree ontop of Dora again. Poor child was wobbly for a week after you did that." "Sure Marilla, and Davy and Dora can help too," said Anne cheerfully. So Anne, Diana, Davy, and Dora spent the rest of the day putting up decorations for the exciting day coming up ahead.  
  
Chapter VIII  
  
Christmas was approaching Avonlea. Most of the snow that had come before was now nearly completely melted. The most gorgeous view could be viewed from Anne's window in the east gable. The Haunted Wood was as cold and dark as ever. Lover's Lane was as pleasantly green as Dryad's Bubble could accomplish. The spicy smell coming from Avonlea was drifting warmly through Anne's window, and was mesmerizing her. "Oh, what a lovely day," sighed Anne peacefully. But, alas, she knew it were not going to last. Uncle Abe, the Avonlea weather forecaster, was predicating that it was going to be a nice warm week, and everyone in Avonlea always made plans opposite of what he predicated, for he was never right.  
  



End file.
